I returned from Papua New Guinea about 4 months ago. It seems like so much longer ago. I have moments where I miss PNG terribly and the wonderful friends I made there. I find my heart hurting at times for those friends who have been going through such trials and I wished I could be there to encourage them or give them a hug. Lately there has been intense fighting in the villages surround the Ukarumpa Center. Many have been killed and many houses have been burned. Things like this happened when I was there and it is amazing the peace God gives amongst such tension. I never felt unsafe during those times. As I am here though many miles away, my heart hurts for this place. I do not know whether God wants me back there again, but I do know that Papua New Guinea will always be a part of who I am and who I will become.
Like the unrest in this country, I found much unrest in my soul as I returned to the states. The conflict inside myself that keeps me from being who God desires me to become. I wanted to return and wanted people to know I was different, but that required more than me just saying it, I truly needed and desired to become more of who I was created to become.
I was met with many trials financially, spiritually, relationally, and physically. There was a war going on in my soul. Now was the time to decide did I really want to take my relationship with Christ to the next level. Did I really believe God could do these things in me that I have believed for so long for other people. Was I going to allow the power of God to take over or was I going to continue to let fear suppress my soul.
As I walked through this tough transition, more and more I found my God saying FIGHT!! I felt like God was showing me I was going to have to fight to get to where He wanted me to be. I was going to have to persevere through things that didn't make sense. I learned many things and am thankful to say that I did fight and I did persevere. Honestly, it wasn't without a bad attitude at times or tears. I was several times overcome with fear and doubt, doubt if I would ever overcome.
I am glad to say because of Christ I have overcome. I once again learned that fear was not an option. I learned that I am not out of my mind and yes I can hear God correctly!! Just because things aren't easy does not mean God did not call me to them. I learned that I have to take care of myself. I have to know who it is God created me to be and go after it, not worrying what others may think or say or even if they believe I can do it or not. I have to go after what I know God desires. God can call us to certain things, but there is a perfect timing for these things as well. If we try to run ahead it can be quite painful and dangerous.
So for now, I continue to persevere in the things I know God has specifically called me to in this season. Sometimes it seems dull and a little boring, but in this time I am learning discipline. I am learning how to stick with something knowing that this something brings so much freedom. No, I'm not off planning another mission trip or moving to another state, but I am enjoying everyday life, searching for ways that I can be used. For now it is encouraging friends in Africa, friends after surgery, friends getting married, or having babies. These things may seem small compared to going and doing, but I have found peace in these things. So while my life seems a little less exciting to those on the outside. I am seeing God do some amazing things by allowing me to build stronger relationships with others and also building confidence in who I am to become.
While this transition back to this side of the planet has been one of the toughest transitions I have ever made, it also has a sweet side!! Because God is still here. He is why I persevere. I am able to find sweet rest in Him, the God who saves!!!
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
See the Lord is doing a New thing!
I returned from PNG almost 2 weeks ago. I was welcomed to Arkansas with much pollen and extreme allergies. Not really something I was hoping for, but it happens once a year at this time, and glad it's run its course.
I was greeted in the airport on 21st of April by family and friends. My nieces have grown so much. Analee is now one and her birthday was the 16th. Mercedes will be starting kindergarten in August. Wow!! I must admit there is nothing more precious than a 5 year old greeting you with her special name for you (she calls me G), jumping up and down and telling you how much they missed you, I truly am so blessed. It wasn't long before she started asking me for her stuffed crocodile she had requested on my return trip from Australia. The bliss lasted for only a moment. HAHA!
I found it so difficult at first to answer all the questions. I was asked what was best and worst part about the trip and I was speechless. Hold up guys I gotta process this and I will get back to you. I never usually struggle with words. I was surprised at how difficult if was to answer questions. I will admit it was one of the greatest experiences of my life and hands down most challenging experience. More details later on that!
So now I am back in Little Rock. Now what? I began my search here in Little Rock and was planning on staying here, but the Lord is doing a new thing. I am so thankful that I have had the time to read, pray, and drink Starbucks:) In my search I am acutely aware that God desires me elsewhere. I am so excited how clearly he speaks when I ask and once again a little less excited that He still desires to speak to me early in the morning.
I will reveal more of that move later when it all is finalized, but I can't begin to tell you just how faithful My God has been every step of the way. It's nothing for me to pray and petition God about my concerns and questions and the next morning the phone rings to confirm the direction is clear. I am ecstatic about this next step and I can't begin to tell you how much joy and peace overwhelms my life in the smallest steps of obedience.
Thank you all for your prayers during these last 3 months and keeping up with my blog. I think I will continue blogging, I have always been big on journaling, but this is such a great way to share the things I am learning with others and it is so easy. In the next few days I will try and answer those hard questions here on my blog, but until then know how grateful and thankful I am for being able to share my journey. I am even more grateful to the Lord for loving me and never letting go!
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19
I was greeted in the airport on 21st of April by family and friends. My nieces have grown so much. Analee is now one and her birthday was the 16th. Mercedes will be starting kindergarten in August. Wow!! I must admit there is nothing more precious than a 5 year old greeting you with her special name for you (she calls me G), jumping up and down and telling you how much they missed you, I truly am so blessed. It wasn't long before she started asking me for her stuffed crocodile she had requested on my return trip from Australia. The bliss lasted for only a moment. HAHA!
I found it so difficult at first to answer all the questions. I was asked what was best and worst part about the trip and I was speechless. Hold up guys I gotta process this and I will get back to you. I never usually struggle with words. I was surprised at how difficult if was to answer questions. I will admit it was one of the greatest experiences of my life and hands down most challenging experience. More details later on that!
So now I am back in Little Rock. Now what? I began my search here in Little Rock and was planning on staying here, but the Lord is doing a new thing. I am so thankful that I have had the time to read, pray, and drink Starbucks:) In my search I am acutely aware that God desires me elsewhere. I am so excited how clearly he speaks when I ask and once again a little less excited that He still desires to speak to me early in the morning.
I will reveal more of that move later when it all is finalized, but I can't begin to tell you just how faithful My God has been every step of the way. It's nothing for me to pray and petition God about my concerns and questions and the next morning the phone rings to confirm the direction is clear. I am ecstatic about this next step and I can't begin to tell you how much joy and peace overwhelms my life in the smallest steps of obedience.
Thank you all for your prayers during these last 3 months and keeping up with my blog. I think I will continue blogging, I have always been big on journaling, but this is such a great way to share the things I am learning with others and it is so easy. In the next few days I will try and answer those hard questions here on my blog, but until then know how grateful and thankful I am for being able to share my journey. I am even more grateful to the Lord for loving me and never letting go!
"Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See I am doing a new thing; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
Isaiah 43:18-19
Monday, April 13, 2009
Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus
Wow!
I now have about 9 and half hours til I leave my house here in Ukarumpa. I board the plane to Cairns, AS at 10am. Today was a good day! It seems like yesterday I was just landing at Aiyura airstrip doe eyed with anticipation of what God had in store for me.
3 months later, I am a woman of culture haha! 3 months later I found how truly sweet it is to trust in Jesus. Jesus is faithful. Jesus is My Rock. In good and bad times He is My Hope!
I am leaving here with less certainty of what my future holds and more peace than I have ever known. I am full of hope and joy and so looking forward to sharing my experiences. I hope that I have many opportunities to share with many of you specific things God has done in my life.
God provided so perfectly for me my housemate, Lilah, who was quite a trooper with all my questions and idiosyncrasies. Her type of humor made me laugh more than a few times of day. She shared her Aussie culture with me and I felt right at home. I am so thankful that God knew and provided so abundantly. She is so many things I am not, like organized and I have learned so much from her and will never be able to thank her enough!
God provided another housemate the last few weeks, Jen, who added much laughter and encouragement to both of us and she washes dishes!!! There are just some people in life you have an instant connection and she is one of them. I am so thankful for her encouragement and discipline.
God has provided so many more people who have encouraged me along the way. Kindred spirits, if you will. He provided me with Nancy who from the beginning made it her plan to hug me after she saw me each time. It may sound silly to some, but in a place like this those are few and I love my hugs! She loved me and encouraged me and by listening and laughing with me. She allowed me to vent. I am so thankful for her sharing her life with me as well. God is so good.
I have already mentioned a couple earlier in my blog who were huge encouragement to me and my walk with Christ and I am encouraged by their perseverance during the hard times. I will always remember that God uses the simplest things to know He is in control, like cheesecakes!! What a story!!!
I could go to numerous countries and perform physical therapy, but what is so amazing is that it's the people that make the difference. God is so good to allow us to be used to encourage one another. I know I have been changed and I know that it is because of trusting in Jesus. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!!!
I now have about 9 and half hours til I leave my house here in Ukarumpa. I board the plane to Cairns, AS at 10am. Today was a good day! It seems like yesterday I was just landing at Aiyura airstrip doe eyed with anticipation of what God had in store for me.
3 months later, I am a woman of culture haha! 3 months later I found how truly sweet it is to trust in Jesus. Jesus is faithful. Jesus is My Rock. In good and bad times He is My Hope!
I am leaving here with less certainty of what my future holds and more peace than I have ever known. I am full of hope and joy and so looking forward to sharing my experiences. I hope that I have many opportunities to share with many of you specific things God has done in my life.
God provided so perfectly for me my housemate, Lilah, who was quite a trooper with all my questions and idiosyncrasies. Her type of humor made me laugh more than a few times of day. She shared her Aussie culture with me and I felt right at home. I am so thankful that God knew and provided so abundantly. She is so many things I am not, like organized and I have learned so much from her and will never be able to thank her enough!
God provided another housemate the last few weeks, Jen, who added much laughter and encouragement to both of us and she washes dishes!!! There are just some people in life you have an instant connection and she is one of them. I am so thankful for her encouragement and discipline.
God has provided so many more people who have encouraged me along the way. Kindred spirits, if you will. He provided me with Nancy who from the beginning made it her plan to hug me after she saw me each time. It may sound silly to some, but in a place like this those are few and I love my hugs! She loved me and encouraged me and by listening and laughing with me. She allowed me to vent. I am so thankful for her sharing her life with me as well. God is so good.
I have already mentioned a couple earlier in my blog who were huge encouragement to me and my walk with Christ and I am encouraged by their perseverance during the hard times. I will always remember that God uses the simplest things to know He is in control, like cheesecakes!! What a story!!!
I could go to numerous countries and perform physical therapy, but what is so amazing is that it's the people that make the difference. God is so good to allow us to be used to encourage one another. I know I have been changed and I know that it is because of trusting in Jesus. Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus!!!
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Growing Pains
This past week, I have been thinking about my time here in PNG. I was thinking about one of my patients I had earlier. He was a teenager who had ankle and foot pain. He was desperate to get rid of his pain because he loved playing all kinds of sports. He saw a doc in the states who mentioned in his epiphyseal plates (growth plates) that they were uneven and causing friction leading to pain. The doc said it would work itself out over next couple of years, but that he would have to live with the pain. Luckily we found some things that eased his pain like taping his heel and giving him some ankle braces. It was so great to see him later, he was so excited to be running faster and jumping higher with almost no pain.
As I think back over this I find myself thinking more about growth and growing pains. It is God's nature for us to grow. With normal physical growth there are growing pains (like cramps and such), but things are worse when plates refuse to move and grow with the body and are uneven.
Growing spiritually has similar effects as well. When we experience normal growth there are pains that come along with that. Going from spiritual milk to solid foods requires much more work. It's easy to drink milk, but add solid foods and that requires chewing and increase in digestion. But when we are spiritually uneven or off balance that can cause even more pain.
Many of us resist growth because we do not like change. We fear those things we may have to leave behind and we fear the things that may be ahead, the uncertainty of the future. We add to the pain by being off balance, being disobedient to God's word and refusing to move forward because we are comfortable just the way we are.
God's plan for us is that we are in a constant state of growth. This allows us to fulfill His will by becoming more like Christ. We do not need to fear or resist growth because with growth comes more peace and joy.
I feel like PNG has been a growth spurt for me. Some things I resisted and made things harder than they should be, but I found when I just let go and trusted in God's provision, I did find peace. I want to grow and become more like Christ and understand His ways. Yet I find myself hanging on as well to the former things, not quite sure I want to leave things behind. For it is almost time to go back home and I have many questions. Will things look different? Will I look different, will anyone recognize me? The cool thing about this is that nothing in my life is certain, definitely not the future and yet I have felt more joy and peace than I have ever before in my life. How is that possible? Because I know that My God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will always love me, He will always protect me. I know He holds my future in His hands.
While I know this is a process and I will always be growing and often resisting. I hope to remember that the pain is much more bearable if I just give in and let God do what He wants in my life and just embrace His plan, embracing the life that was created to bring Him glory!
So what will you do? Will you embrace growth or be like those stingy, stubborn uneven epiphyseal plates and cause yourself much more pain than required?
The thief comes only to steal, kill, destroy; I(Jesus) have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10
As I think back over this I find myself thinking more about growth and growing pains. It is God's nature for us to grow. With normal physical growth there are growing pains (like cramps and such), but things are worse when plates refuse to move and grow with the body and are uneven.
Growing spiritually has similar effects as well. When we experience normal growth there are pains that come along with that. Going from spiritual milk to solid foods requires much more work. It's easy to drink milk, but add solid foods and that requires chewing and increase in digestion. But when we are spiritually uneven or off balance that can cause even more pain.
Many of us resist growth because we do not like change. We fear those things we may have to leave behind and we fear the things that may be ahead, the uncertainty of the future. We add to the pain by being off balance, being disobedient to God's word and refusing to move forward because we are comfortable just the way we are.
God's plan for us is that we are in a constant state of growth. This allows us to fulfill His will by becoming more like Christ. We do not need to fear or resist growth because with growth comes more peace and joy.
I feel like PNG has been a growth spurt for me. Some things I resisted and made things harder than they should be, but I found when I just let go and trusted in God's provision, I did find peace. I want to grow and become more like Christ and understand His ways. Yet I find myself hanging on as well to the former things, not quite sure I want to leave things behind. For it is almost time to go back home and I have many questions. Will things look different? Will I look different, will anyone recognize me? The cool thing about this is that nothing in my life is certain, definitely not the future and yet I have felt more joy and peace than I have ever before in my life. How is that possible? Because I know that My God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He will always love me, He will always protect me. I know He holds my future in His hands.
While I know this is a process and I will always be growing and often resisting. I hope to remember that the pain is much more bearable if I just give in and let God do what He wants in my life and just embrace His plan, embracing the life that was created to bring Him glory!
So what will you do? Will you embrace growth or be like those stingy, stubborn uneven epiphyseal plates and cause yourself much more pain than required?
The thief comes only to steal, kill, destroy; I(Jesus) have come so that you may have life and have it more abundantly. John 10:10
Monday, April 6, 2009
Please be in prayer
Ukarumpa Center here in Papua New Guinea has been holding a 2 week conference as they do every other year. During this time we have brought in teams to assist with VBS for kids and a team to provide activities for our youth group.
We have a team here from Pennsylvania working with the youth. This past Saturday this team and 4 of our members here were in a car accident. There was not anyone killed in this accident and all are in stable condition. 4 of the passengers (3 of our members and 1 from the team) were medevacd to Cairns, AS for further medical care. These injuries consisted of broken legs, hip, facial and jaw fractures. Other team members are here with lower leg fractures and broken arms and wrists. All of them are pretty banged up and have cuts from the accident.
We have 3 doctors on staff here at the moment and a few nurses. They have been working overtime and are pretty exhausted.
We ask that you keep all of these people and their families in your prayers. It has been difficult for team members being so far away from home and their families. This would be a difficult situation in the states, but to be so far away has added more pain.
Pray for continued strength for our doctors and nurses and other medical staff assisting with this. We have members with the patients in Cairns to help work through this time for emotional support.
It was a miracle that the injuries weren't any worse than they are. We are confident God and His angels were watching out for this group on Saturday. It has been a great time for our community to work together as a family.
We know God is going to use this for His glory. Thanks for your prayers.
We have a team here from Pennsylvania working with the youth. This past Saturday this team and 4 of our members here were in a car accident. There was not anyone killed in this accident and all are in stable condition. 4 of the passengers (3 of our members and 1 from the team) were medevacd to Cairns, AS for further medical care. These injuries consisted of broken legs, hip, facial and jaw fractures. Other team members are here with lower leg fractures and broken arms and wrists. All of them are pretty banged up and have cuts from the accident.
We have 3 doctors on staff here at the moment and a few nurses. They have been working overtime and are pretty exhausted.
We ask that you keep all of these people and their families in your prayers. It has been difficult for team members being so far away from home and their families. This would be a difficult situation in the states, but to be so far away has added more pain.
Pray for continued strength for our doctors and nurses and other medical staff assisting with this. We have members with the patients in Cairns to help work through this time for emotional support.
It was a miracle that the injuries weren't any worse than they are. We are confident God and His angels were watching out for this group on Saturday. It has been a great time for our community to work together as a family.
We know God is going to use this for His glory. Thanks for your prayers.
Thursday, April 2, 2009
Plateaus
Where have you heard the word plateau recently? Well if you are a woman in your 30s like me, you have heard it referring to weight loss in countless magazines and books. One can not open up a fitness/style magazine without those articles teaching you how to rise above your plateau. How miserable it is to work so hard and then not see any results. Many at this point usually give up and go back to their old habits. Their fitness goals are dashed to pieces on the rocks below. Yet there are a few who stick with their routines and rise above.
As I was thinking about this, it reminded me so much about my walk with God. Oh how I long for those mountain top experiences. Remember those times when Jesus truly is the topic of all your conversations, when the Word of God is like a match that keeps your passion for Him burning. Oh those are the greatest times when God shows Himself so clearly in our lives.
For most of us those mountaintops precede those moments of flatness, those times when opening our Bible takes every ounce of strength we have. It's difficult to hear God's voice. We don't know which direction to turn and what is the best next step to take. These are the plateaus which many of us dread. Do we have what it takes to rise above. Can we get past this flatness? For many, these are times when we give up and rebel. We just don't see the point. (No pun intended)
This is where faith is required. What if we kept pressing on? What if we cried out to God to hear our prayers. What if these times when we are having difficulty seeing God even with our bifocals or trifocals, what if we stepped out in faith. Trusting Him even when things are so blurry. What if during these times we remained disciplined and continued reading God's Word even when it doesn't make sense. What if we decided that even though life seems a little blah, we opened our mouths and lifted our voices in praise to God. What would happen then?
Well like those fitness/weight loss plateaus, we would see true transformation. If we persevere we will see results. In fitness/weight loss goals, bodies are transformed with continued discipline. When we choose to remain disciplined regarding our relationship with Christ we can break through our plateau. We would see more than our bodies being transformed, but we would see our entire lives transformed. How different our world would be if more of us persevered instead of hanging our heads and throwing in the towel.
Paul writes in Corinthians that we are to run the race with strict discipline hoping to win the prize. We are not persevering for earthly riches, but for a crown that will last forever. By doing this and remaining disciplined in serving and living your life for Christ, you are not the only one whose life will be changed. For when we choose to run this race, whole nations can be changed.
So when you find yourself stilled by a plateau, keep running. For we can be confident that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil 1:6) The transformation is worth all the sweat and tears.
As I was thinking about this, it reminded me so much about my walk with God. Oh how I long for those mountain top experiences. Remember those times when Jesus truly is the topic of all your conversations, when the Word of God is like a match that keeps your passion for Him burning. Oh those are the greatest times when God shows Himself so clearly in our lives.
For most of us those mountaintops precede those moments of flatness, those times when opening our Bible takes every ounce of strength we have. It's difficult to hear God's voice. We don't know which direction to turn and what is the best next step to take. These are the plateaus which many of us dread. Do we have what it takes to rise above. Can we get past this flatness? For many, these are times when we give up and rebel. We just don't see the point. (No pun intended)
This is where faith is required. What if we kept pressing on? What if we cried out to God to hear our prayers. What if these times when we are having difficulty seeing God even with our bifocals or trifocals, what if we stepped out in faith. Trusting Him even when things are so blurry. What if during these times we remained disciplined and continued reading God's Word even when it doesn't make sense. What if we decided that even though life seems a little blah, we opened our mouths and lifted our voices in praise to God. What would happen then?
Well like those fitness/weight loss plateaus, we would see true transformation. If we persevere we will see results. In fitness/weight loss goals, bodies are transformed with continued discipline. When we choose to remain disciplined regarding our relationship with Christ we can break through our plateau. We would see more than our bodies being transformed, but we would see our entire lives transformed. How different our world would be if more of us persevered instead of hanging our heads and throwing in the towel.
Paul writes in Corinthians that we are to run the race with strict discipline hoping to win the prize. We are not persevering for earthly riches, but for a crown that will last forever. By doing this and remaining disciplined in serving and living your life for Christ, you are not the only one whose life will be changed. For when we choose to run this race, whole nations can be changed.
So when you find yourself stilled by a plateau, keep running. For we can be confident that He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it until the day of Jesus Christ. (Phil 1:6) The transformation is worth all the sweat and tears.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
God is so stinkin good
This week has been such a great week for me. I know it is only Wednesday, but it's been great. Most of you know this about me, but those of you who don't should know spending quality time with people just really rocks my world. I have had the opportunity this week with my patients and with some girls here who I just recently met. One of the girls is my new housemate,Jen, and the other is Debbie and Missy who I just met this last week. It has been so fun to just really share stories from our past and being honest. It really lights me up and makes me smile. One of my patients who I have been seeing for the duration of my time here shared about her daughter who is really struggling at the moment. She shared how God is really working so much through these trials. How encouraging to hear people trusting God in midst of such pain and suffering.
Also this week God has been waking me up really really early to share certain things with me. I normally wouldn't be so excited about it since I have had such difficulty sleeping in PNG. I must admit I was a little frustrated about it and was like ok God just tell me what you want me to know so I can get back to sleep. After getting over myself I was able to listen and hear Him clearly. It's really neat how peaceful sleep is after those times.
Cheers, Angie
Also this week God has been waking me up really really early to share certain things with me. I normally wouldn't be so excited about it since I have had such difficulty sleeping in PNG. I must admit I was a little frustrated about it and was like ok God just tell me what you want me to know so I can get back to sleep. After getting over myself I was able to listen and hear Him clearly. It's really neat how peaceful sleep is after those times.
Cheers, Angie
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